Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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