I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just cropdusted the office
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
