i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
