the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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