At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
