i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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