I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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