i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
