Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you didnt know i had herpes?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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