he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
