i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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