absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
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Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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