the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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