She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
