I wish I could teleport
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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