I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We are all done wearing pants today
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize