Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
