Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
