I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
