Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You don't make any sense
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