I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
