So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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