he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize