Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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