I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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