Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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