i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
