opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize