It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.