think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
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He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again