4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?