So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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