Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
