Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize