fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
