Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him