Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
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Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP