Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i barfeds in our rink
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk