So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
