do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
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Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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