I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.