if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.