we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
