i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize