Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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