And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
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Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We are all done wearing pants today
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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