you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
