Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
