i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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