dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
