Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
