I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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