Having a random hookup so left but love u
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night