Just cropdusted the office
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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