During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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