Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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